Thursday, October 28, 2010

I miss u Addy

So I'm down to a 00R in express pants. I was wondering why I look like I have no ass in all of the ones I own. Got my interview outfit last night. Very cute...but professional.
112.2 this morning again, but I purged last night. I didn't even eat that much in retrospect.
Baked chicken breast, hashbrowns, banana moonpie.
I think for me it was knowing the whole time that my dad cooked it, so needless to say who knows how much extra shit got thrown in there. That man doesn't know the meaning of plain foods. He has to jazz up everything, add some flare.
Today will be the first day I'll attempt to go a day without my addy(aderal). Well I shouldn't say attempt, I ran out. I felt like such an addict yesterday. Aside from breaking down in a hissy tantrum, I freaked out. My source missed her appointment, so I went to dads. Moms has to take it for her MS, it completely drains her energy. My dad told me she only had 4 and she has to go through a lot to get a refill. I may as well just suck it up and pay the $300 to see my own phychiatrist. Hot damn that's a lot of money but I can't be that girl. I am not an addict...they say admitting you have a problem is the first step. Ha! I will not!
Honestly my reasoning is I need it for energy. 11 hour days would make anyone need something. I figure it's better than turning to coke. (Oh trust me it's crossed my mind.)
losing weight is just an added bonus.
At work the other day two girls mentioned that I was looking skeletal. I freaked out and got extremely defensive. "Well you'd lose weight too if you worked like I do! I don't have time to eat!" Great Mandy that doesn't scream, "Look at me! I've got a problem!"
*sigh*
so anywho excited about the number, losing my ass and boobs isn't all that great. I didn't think my boobs could get any smaller. Though Express 32A bras I almost come out of. Why is it bras fit perfectly the first couple times, then it's like they stretch out, and you're having to adjust the ladies every ten minutes?
Off to work...wish me Luck.

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