So I haven't taken any adderrals in 2 days. I'm feeling pretty good. I thought I wouldve ballooned up by now. Steady at 112. So I gained 2 pounds from 11-9 and have yet to work it off. :( I ate a turkey English muffin from starbucks just now. I'm itching to buy a pastry. That would be bad I'm trying to remind myself that tomorrow will be enough temptation without a pastry fuckin everything up. *sigh* I notice I eat when I'm stressed and today has definitely been a stressful day. My DM mediated a convo between me and my GM today. She cried. I cried. I thought about quitting. I thought of slitting my wrist and bleed to death on the bathroom floor.
So um side note I read a side effect of coming off adderral is suicidle thoughts, and I cried about that too. At one point I was sobbing bc I don't have any. Well I do but I don't wanna take it. Saving it? Yeah maybe...
So I snapped out of my mood and here I am. Eyeing the pastry window like a bitch in heat. Sour cream doughnuts. Peppermint brownies! Pumpkin loaf bread! Uughh!! I can't take it!!
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